One Man's Trash
by Noxbait
Summary: Set after 100 Days. Jack comes home to an empty house and finds himself analyzing the contents of his trash. Who knew so much could be revealed by the garbage? This is an attempt to get inside Jack's mind & understand why he acted the way he did during 100 Days (especially the end). This episode never sat very well with me. Hope this provides a satisfying conclusion.


**This follows the episode 100 Days. This episode ranks on my list of really not favorite episodes. It's one that I just never felt did justice to all the emotional turmoil that was thrown at Jack and the team. This little story is what my muse came up with to help explain Jack's behavior. There is actually only the tiniest hint of very barely implied J/S ship, so it isn't exactly where most fics go when they follow up to this episode. :)**

**I just needed some resolution to this episode that left me so dissatisfied and to come up with something that made sense (at least to me) for how Jack acted in this episode. Hope you enjoy! :) Thank you to Yeahsureyoubetcha for proofing this one and offering some stellar suggestions! :D**

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It was the trash that told the story. The trash wasn't the first thing he noticed, but it was certainly the most important thing he noticed.

It had been a long day.

_It had been a long three months in fact_.

The debriefing had lasted a long time and it hadn't been one of the fun ones either. Everyone, _everyone,_ seemed on edge and extremely uncomfortable around each other. Jack hadn't been in a good mood and he was still trying to avoid thinking about the reason why.

He was home. He was safe. His team had gotten through to him. He should have been ecstatic, should have shown his team how thrilled he was to see them. And he was. Thrilled to see them. But, for reasons he didn't want to think about, he had found himself holding his relief and emotions in check. Even as he pulled into his driveway, Jack regretted it. Regretted that he was being forced to give the cold shoulder to those he cared the most about.

It hadn't been an easy three months for anyone. He hadn't actually spent very much time talking to his teammates, but he could clearly see that his team had suffered in his absence. Carter looked completely exhausted and had seemed about to cry at several points, which he just couldn't deal with at the moment. It was obvious she had worked herself to the breaking point to do what she could to get him home. His brief conversation with Teal'c had confirmed that she had basically lived in her lab for the past three months. Teal'c had seemed about the most normal to him, although the Jaffa had seemed disturbed at how standoffish Jack was acting. And, after an initial greeting on the planet which Jack knew he had botched with his stoic lack of enthusiasm, Daniel withdrew; apparently from everyone. His complete silence during the debriefing had been as loud to Jack as if he had been shouting the entire time.

What did he expect, Jack mused? They had been working for three months, hoping for three months and when they finally saw him again, the man they had worked so hard to rescue couldn't spare them the time of day. If anything, he'd acted sorry to be leaving Edora instead of excited to see his own team.

Jack rested his head on his steering wheel for a moment, suddenly too tired to even get out of his truck. He had forced himself to go to the corner store and pick up some frozen pizza and some beer because he knew after three months there wouldn't be anything in his fridge. At least nothing edible. After the briefing and everything else, the only thing he wanted to do was drink himself into oblivion; preferably with a game on in the background. While he had been somewhat surprised that none of his teammates had pestered him after the briefing or his physical, Jack knew he was to blame. He hadn't exactly been acting like he'd been glad to see them, now had he?

Shaking his head, Jack tried to continue to ignore the reason he had been in such a foul mood when they'd arrived. For the first few weeks, he had done everything in his power to get back home, to not give up. But as weeks turned to months, he allowed himself to give up a little. It was easier to let his mind go numb and just accept what the inevitable. Gathering his purchases, Jack got out of the truck wishing he could continue to distract himself from why he had given up.

Because he _had_. Given up.

Pausing, he surveyed his yard. _Huh_. Someone had mowed the grass. Recently. The hedges were trimmed neatly and there wasn't a single weed in the flowerbeds.

Entering the house, the scent of moldy food, humidity, and dirty socks didn't hit his nose like he had expected. Kicking the door shut behind him, he headed for the kitchen, marveling at the fact that the house smelled so fresh. Fresh, with a whiff of coffee. The kitchen window was open a crack, just enough to let the fresh air into the room, not enough to let in any rain. He put the bags down on the counter, staring at the kitchen in surprise. It was neat. Neat and clean. Not at all the way he'd left it that morning. He'd expected to be back later that day, of course. Hadn't expected to be stranded off world for three months. So he'd left the dishes in the sink, the garbage in the bin and his laundry strewn about the house.

The sink was clean, the dishes were done and, he couldn't help but look, the garbage wasn't his. Jack pulled it out and found himself strangely interested in the bin. The left over takeout packages and the rest of his trashwere missing. In their place, he found a full bag from the vacuum. Someone had vacuumed his house? On top of that bag were multiple wrappers from Twinkies, some candy bar wrappers, a few crumpled papers that looked suspiciously like homework, and an empty bottle of Ibuprofen. He shook the bin a bit and found an empty box of tissues and a pile of coffee filters and grounds. He noticed the coffee maker was on the counter and there was still a small stack of candy bars neatly positioned beside the coffee maker.

Jack frowned, replaced the garbage can and glanced at the recycling bin. It was full to overflowing with cans of Mountain Dew, Root Beer and good old regular beer. He decided to throw the food into the fridge and stop poking through the trash for a bit. Pulling the door open, his jaw dropped. He found fresh fruit and vegetables, eggs, milk, beer, Mountain Dew, and a half eaten sub sandwich. Interesting. Grabbing one of the cold beers, Jack checked the pantry, finding it similarly stocked.

Funny thing was, beside all the staples, there was a lot of food _he _didn't tend to eat. Including another box of Twinkies; a certain Jaffa he knew loved those. And Jack knew that he hadn't bought them before he had left. _Interesting_. He decided to take a tour of his house, curious to see what else he might find.

And he found nothing that he had ever expected. The towels were folded in the linen closet, the dryer and washer empty. The entire house was neat and orderly like that. In the living room, he discovered a stack of books that he was 100% sure weren't his. Books on dead languages, ancient cultures, an Avengers comic book, a high school history text, and a book on the martial art of Krav Maga. Shaking his head at the incredibly odd combination, he nudged the books around and found stacks of notes, written sometimes in English, and other times in languages he couldn't begin to identify. Opening the DVD player, he discovered that the Empire had struck back at some point which also explained why he saw two empty popcorn bags hiding in the corner next to his chair.

Strolling through the rest of the house, he found that the spare bedroom and bath were in direct conflict with the neatness of the rest of the house. Towels, several half full coffee cups, laundry that wasn't his and other miscellanea cluttered both rooms. Jack raised an eyebrow at the set of pink barrettes he found on the counter, with a couple of purple hair bands. Apparently Cassie had been over at some point, explaining why he was suddenly so well stocked with Mountain Dew and candy bars. In the trash he found an empty bottle of allergy pills and some burned up candles. Somebody, or to be more exact, a couple somebodies had been squatting at his house.

Judging by the extent of the mess, they had made themselves very at home.

Jack took a glance out at his garage, finding bags of lawn trimmings neatly bagged and awaiting pick up. The lawnmower wasn't where he'd left it and it had the oddest appearance to it. Investigating more closely, Jack's jaw dropped when he realized that somebody had set it on fire.

"Oh for crying out loud!" He said to himself, leaning down and examining the corpse of his lawnmower. Sure, it had been on its last legs. Sure, he should have replaced it years ago. Sure, he'd been nursing it along, but really? Really? Someone had set it on fire? It had its quirks, but Jack didn't like to imagine how they had set it on fire.

He was about to head back inside when he caught sight of something shiny off to one corner. Crossing the garage, Jack was shocked to find a new lawnmower peeking out from behind some boxes. It was a nice one too, he found with satisfaction. The assembly instructions were sitting on his workbench along with an empty coffee cup. Somehow knowing that Daniel and Teal'c had been regular visitors to his house and had put so much effort into the upkeep of his place only made him feel worse. Jack sighed, deciding to go back inside and start with the drinking himself to oblivion thing.

It was emotionally draining to keep discovering evidence that indicated his team had been there for him all along. It hurt too much. It made what was coming seem a thousand times worse.

Grabbing another can from the fridge on his way by, Jack finally admitted it to himself. The reason he had been such a jerk to his team; it was because of what he had to do. He sat down in the recliner and glared a hole through the opposite wall as he thought back.

Three months plus a few days. Three of the worst months of his life. Which wasn't really fair to the Edorans. It wasn't their fault. None of it. Not the fire rain and certainly not the mission he'd been stewing over all this time. The mission that was still to come. The next mission. The Edorans, Laira, had taken him in, given him shelter and food when he'd needed it. At first, he had focused on getting home; knew he needed to return to Earth. For himself. For his team. For bigger reasons. But as the weeks went by and Jack started realizing that he was more trapped than he had first imagined, he had slowly let himself turn a corner. The Edorans needed help. With so many of their population either killed or refugees on Earth, they needed every able bodied individual available to help rebuild and prepare for the coming harvest and winter ahead.

So he had let the impossible go. Let go of his desperate but fruitless attempt to get back to the Gate; to get home. If the SGC wasn't able to find another way, he was going to be trapped forever because it was going to take him about that long to unbury that Gate. It hadn't been easy, but he had acclimated to the slower lifestyle of the Edoran people; learning from them and helping them.

At first he hadn't given up. He had just accepted the fact that he was going to be stuck for a long time. There wasn't going to be a quick rescue. But then, after about two months, he had given up.

Not because he thought the SGC wasn't trying, that his team wasn't looking. Heaven knew that his team was doing everything in their power to get him back. Jack never doubted that. He had spent many hours thinking about his team, wondering how they were doing. Were they keeping busy going out on missions? Or were they just killing themselves trying to get back to Edora. He had a feeling that the latter was probably true. He tortured himself with vivid pictures of Carter working herself to death trying to come up with some technological wonder or another to get through. And he'd had the utmost confidence in her abilities. Knew she was going to be the one to figure it out. If she didn't kill herself trying.

He knew Teal'c would be doing what he could, but that he would also be doing whatever the SGC needed. Teal'c wasn't one to stand around when there was something that needed doing. Daniel made dozens of passionate speeches trying to get Hammond to listen, Jack was certain. Trying to convince the Tok'ra to help, contacting any allies they had ever had to help them. And then Daniel would have done whatever else needed to be done around the SGC, just like Teal'c. He would do whatever was needed because he couldn't help himself. If it needed to be translated, he would translate it. If a team needed something unburied out in the field, he would go with them and unbury it. But everything he did would be serving just one purpose.

Distraction.

Teal'c could focus himself, could put his efforts into other channels and Jack didn't think any less of him. Because he and Teal'c were very much alike. They were soldiers. They had a duty and they would live for that duty and carry out their duty despite the circumstances. Carter was living for a duty, too, but hers was the committed duty of getting Jack home. Because she would know she was the only one who possibly could. So she would stay busy and push beyond the limits to do the impossible again.

Daniel just needed to be distracted, to have something to do to keep his mind off the fact that he really couldn't do anything to help Carter, to solve this particular problem. It wasn't his area of expertise and Jack knew that must have been frustrating him to no end every single day. And every single day, he had worried about them. Worried about his team. Not that he thought he was anything special that they should be in pieces over, but simply because he knew _they_ thought he was something special and each of them had a bad habit of getting a bit too emotionally charged over situations like this.

Finishing the second beer, Jack headed for the kitchen and grabbed another one, trying to keep his mind off the thing he didn't want to think about. The thing that had been tearing him apart more than anything else for those three months.

He'd given up because he had finally realized that if he never went home, he would never have to do it.

Never have to be _that guy_ again. That guy he had been all those years ago. The guy who had sold his soul on a few too many black op missions. The guy who had been a complete jerk and a cold blooded madman on a suicide mission. He'd thought that guy had been buried a long time ago; buried when someone he had barely known had saved a life that hadn't wanted to be saved. That guy had died that day on Abydos when Jack had suddenly, jarringly, painfully been shown that life was precious. That life was very worth living, despite the awful misery and heartbreak inevitability caused by that precious life.

But the guy that Daniel had helped him bury was needed again. Maybe not the suicidal maniac, but the guy who did what he was told without questioning, who put duty ahead of any possible collateral damage and was as cold as that ice cave in Antarctica had been. That guy was needed again, had been called upon to carry out a mission to assist Earth and her allies against people who were dangerously undermining all that the SGC had been working toward since they first started sending teams to the far worlds of the galaxy.

Dropping back into his recliner, Jack closed his eyes, trying to shut it all out.

It had been brewing for months. The trouble, the stealing that was going on in the shadows. But when Thor had beamed Jack up not long after the whole Urgo fiasco and laid out the situation and the plan for him, it became clear that Earth's allies were not going to be patient much longer. With pressure from Thor and Travell, Jack had met with General Hammond privately and they had laid the groundwork for the op that had been tearing him up for three months. Jack had at times wondered if the mission would be handed to some other poor SG team leader in his absence. Had hoped, actually. But there it was. The reason he had finally convinced himself that remaining trapped on Edora would be a better option than going home.

Home to a mission that could all too easily destroy everything he had worked so hard to build.

When his team had walked through the Gate, his initial reaction of pure joy had been immediately quashed by the realization that he was going to have to risk hurting every single member of that team in order to protect Earth and her allies.

So he had held back, had let the worry, stress, and fears of the past three months wash over him and turn him into that guy he never wanted to be again. He watched the confusion and hurt appear on their faces. First on Edora, and only deepening during the debriefing. Confusion from all of them, disappointment from Teal'c, something even more deep and powerful from Carter and, oddly enough, some understanding in Daniel's eyes.

Daniel knew what it meant to be stuck off world, to be on another world without a way home. Of course, Daniel had made that choice independently and there had been a downright compelling and beautiful reason for him to stay on Abydos. But Daniel had offered him silent understanding. The fact that he hadn't tried to talk to Jack about the situation indicated that he was being extremely patient. Of course, his patient understanding was intermingled with confusion and a touch of anger. Jack had no doubt that Daniel was angry at him for his lack of enthusiasm regarding Carter's impressive labor of love.

Flicking on the TV, Jack clenched a fist. The whole thing was killing him, but he had made the right choice. At least as far as Hammond was concerned. He and the General had held a brief private meeting after the debriefing and Hammond had confirmed Jack's worst fears. He _was_ still in charge of the undercover op to flush out the thieves. Which meant that, after three months, he was going to have to continue the separation from his team and, worse still, alienate them even further. Using his extended absence as a starting point, Jack was now free to continue to act like a jerk and let his team think he had turned to the dark side.

It was only temporary. The mission wouldn't last a lifetime. It was one mission. They'd all get over it. Eventually. It was for the good of the many.

Three months and he still hadn't convinced himself.

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**Whatcha think?**


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